WHAT & HOW Skills#

Distress ToleranceWeek 1
  • Keep these skills in mind.
  • Practise them while stabilised, then utilise them when they’re needed.

WHAT Skills#

Use each skill in sequence, one at a time.

Observe#

  • Stop & take a breath.
  • Just notice the experience in the present moment.​
  • Observe both inside and outside yourself, using all of your five senses.​
  • Pay attention – for example, when you shower in the morning, make a special effort to really pay attention to the feel of the water on your skin.
  • Be aware & accept – notice and be aware of emotions you are feeling or sensations in your body. Try to observe & accept these feelings with friendly curiosity & without judgement.

Describe#

  • Label what you observe with words​.
  • No feeling is “good” or “bad”, it just “is”.
  • Describe only what you observe, objectively & without judgement.
  • Stick to the facts!​

Participate#

  • Be completely in the moment.
  • Acknowledge your thoughts & feelings.
  • Shelve it all for later & focus on what you’re doing now; problems can’t be solved while in distress.
  • Choose & return – choose to bring your attention back to the present moment, usually by focusing on your breathing or another sensation in your body.

There are two entries for this skill. While they have the same name, the implementation changes depending on whether it is for distress tolerance or for emotional regulation.

Emotional Regulation version

HOW Skills#

These skills can be used simultaneously.

Don’t judge#

Including judgement of myself!

  • Notice emotion & feelings, but don’t evaluate as “good” or “bad”.
  • Stick to observable facts - check the facts!
  • Use positive language & focus on preference, not negativity.
  • Acknowledge if your thoughts are harmful/helpful, but don’t judge.

Remember

  • You’re still allowed to have your own values, & those values are allowed to be different from other peoples’. It doesn’t mean you should judge yourself.
  • You’re allowed to disagree with your own core beliefs while still acknowledging them without judgement.

Stay focused#

  • Focus your attention on one thing in the moment​.
  • Slow yourself down & take a moment to breathe.​
  • Notice when your mind wanders, which is just what minds do, simply notice where your thoughts have drifted to and refocus your attention when it drifts, again and again.​
  • Be kind to yourself – continue to refocus as much as you need to, without judgement or criticism.

Do what works#

  • Be effective - try different techniques & focus on what works best.
  • Don’t let emotions control your behaviour​ - try coping ahead or the DEAR MAN skill.
  • Let go of negative feelings & pessimism; replace the “should"s with “could"s.

Helpful tips#

  • Set aside regular time to practice.#

    • Regular short periods of mindful meditation can work better than occasional long ones. If you struggle to find the time, you might want to decide on one or two routine activities which you will try to do mindfully each day.

  • Make yourself comfortable.#

    • It can help to do mindfulness in a space where you feel safe & comfortable and won’t be easily distracted.

  • Go slowly.#

    • Try to build your practice slowly. Remember, you’re learning a new skill so it’ll take time to develop. Most people find it hard to sit and meditate for long periods of time at first, so try to do a few minutes and gradually build up to more.

  • Be patient.#

    • There’s no need to set ambitious goals or put pressure on yourself. Many people find it takes a while to feel comfortable doing mindfulness exercises.
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