Self-Compassion#

Interpersonal EffectivenessWeek 6

Practising self-compassion#

  • Self-kindness
    • Treat yourself with kindness rather than harshness
    • Extend love & support to yourself in the same way you do to others
    • Self-affirmation
    • Validate feelings
    • Acknowledge that you’re trying your best
    • Let yourself take a moment
    • Let yourself be happy
  • Mindfulness
    • Reflection on previous experiences
    • Remember how far you’ve come
    • Not ignoring inner pain, but not over identifying with shame
    • Don’t take the blame when it’s not yours to take!
    • Open, curious & non-judgemental attitude
    • Allow yourself to be human; nobody is expected to be flawless

    Remember: I am just as worthy as everyone else.


How to transform shame into self-compassion#

  1. Understand what shame is
    • Shame is normal
    • Shame is the brain’s way of dealing with disconnection or perceived ostracism
  2. Label shame
    • It’s an emotion, not a fact
  3. Replace judgement with curiosity
    • Hold your experience of shame with curiosity instead of judgement
    • Try to shift into a more understanding perspective about your thoughts
  4. Acknowledge your inner critic
    • Your inner critic likes to amplify your shame
    • Remind yourself that you’re a work in progress & trying the best you can
    • Think as if you’re helping someone else
  5. Practice what is helpful, not harmful
    • Speak to yourself like a friend
    • Ask yourself: what actions would help you to recover?
      • Avoid perpetuating bad habits.
    • Act constructively, not destructively
      • Use constructive self-correction instead of self-punishment